It is too early to be awake. The sun light isn't creeping through the kitchen window, yet. The two children are still snug in their beds. The thermostat is still below 65 degrees. So, it is nippy in the house. Just the way she likes it; cold. The coffee smells good and she finishes her cup and pours another one. Coffee is her life saver some times. It is warm and soothing going down. Even holding the cup in both hands is soothing when she feels lonely.
The cards she plays solitaire with are warn. She needs another deck. But, there are groceries to buy instead of playing cards. Besides, if anything happens to her car or the house, where will that money come from. She cannot ask her Father for anything for a while. He just paid the plumber to fix the bathroom sink in her bedroom.
She just shuffles the warn deck of cards and deals another game of solitaire. She could play this game without looking. It passes the time for her in a way that television cannot fill for her. She must be quiet as not to disturb the children. She has been taught by the two previous husbands to be quiet in the mornings. When she can't sleep, instead of turning on the television, she plays solitaire. And, she plays solitaire, this morning, with her worn cards. Dealing seven stacks face down, one on top of the other, without even thinking about them.
What she does think about is how this Friday will turn out. The children have their last day of school before the Christmas holiday. They have to have something in their stomachs before they leave for the short walk to the Elementary School. And, they each need some lunch money. It is only $.53, each. But, it needs to be there every time they leave for school or they will not have anything for lunch.
It is easier to put the coins out for them than it is to make a lunch and have them complain about what is between the bread. She doesn't like to be judged on the sandwiches she prepares for them in their lunches. Usually, bologna with lettuce and some mustard on bread. That is the standby sandwich the gets packed into the lunch bag. The other problem is to decide what else to put into the bag to fill their stomachs at lunch time.
It is very difficult for her to make the lunches. She doesn't like to be judged on the contents of the lunch bag by the children. This becomes a daily struggle for her. She makes sure there is $.53 there for them to purchase a lunch, everyday, at school. It is less pressure for her.
She sips her second cup of coffee and deals another game of solitaire. And, she notices the sunlight coming through the kitchen window. It is time to wake the children for school.