When you told me you wanted a divorce, I asked you, “What is her name?”
You lied and told me, “It’s not like that.”
It was exactly like that.
Nov 25, 2025
Apr 3, 2012
I'm walkin', yes, in deed. I'm talkin'.
Jamie is walking and talking and he's only 10 months old. I love this little boy.
Feb 25, 2012
WHY ENGLISH IS SO HARD TO LEARN
I've tried to teach English conversation to students when I live in South Korea. I was less mature, then, and was very frustrated trying to teach something that was so natural to me to a group of people that hadn't ever learned English. I remember looking up the word napkin in the Korean translation dictionary and found my self saying, "Nah Ee Poo Kin, Nah Ee Poo Kin. Hell, it's the same word in Korean!"
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
This was a good time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I read it once and will read it agen
I learned much from this learned treatise.
I was content to note the content of the message.
The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly.
It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle.
If he will absent himself we mark him absent.
I incline toward bypassing the incline.
Here are some more examples of why the English language is difficult.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
This was a good time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I read it once and will read it agen
I learned much from this learned treatise.
I was content to note the content of the message.
The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly.
It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle.
If he will absent himself we mark him absent.
I incline toward bypassing the incline.
Sep 18, 2011
Tonight's Bad Dream
I pray a lot. Mostly I pray for God to take my ex-husband out of my thoughts and dreams. My dreams continue to play out what I cannot express to friends and family. "It has been long enough." They may say. Or, someone tells me he doesn't matter to me. Everyone is right, it has been a long time since we were together. And, he doesn't mean anything to me, anymore. I don't want to give him real estate in my mind. Because, I belong to me, alone. And, I get to choose for me, now.
Here is the scenario: I know he isn't telling the truth. I pressure him to tell me the truth. And, all the while, I'm trying to cause physical pain in some kind of way. Maybe, by hitting him, or pinching him, or squeezing him until it hurts from the loss of blood flow. Inflicting some kind of pain seems to make the hurt of the lies less painful. And, I get some kind of weird satisfaction, indirectly, from the pain I'm causing him.
I am losing sleep over something that is finished.
Good night. And, I pray that God will take this out of my life and into my deep memory.
Here is the scenario: I know he isn't telling the truth. I pressure him to tell me the truth. And, all the while, I'm trying to cause physical pain in some kind of way. Maybe, by hitting him, or pinching him, or squeezing him until it hurts from the loss of blood flow. Inflicting some kind of pain seems to make the hurt of the lies less painful. And, I get some kind of weird satisfaction, indirectly, from the pain I'm causing him.
I am losing sleep over something that is finished.
Good night. And, I pray that God will take this out of my life and into my deep memory.
Feb 21, 2011
There's gonna be a new baby in our family!
On February 13, 2011, Brittany's friends gave her a baby shower for Little Sixth. It was a really nice day. We all had a good time. Sara was kind enough to share all these photos with me. So, I'm sharing with you. Enjoy.
Jan 14, 2011
LIAR!
Well, finally, I am justified in calling you a great big fat liar. You have lied to me for the last time, Buddy. Never, again, will I believe anything that comes out of your mouth. Oh, wait, I don't ever have to hear anything coming out of your mouth.
Your confession, yesterday, confirmed so many suspicions. Although, it was terribly hurtful, it brings closure to all the times I cried and worried and stressed and punched out the bed pillows so as not to wake our children.
The lies started in 1977 at Ft. Bragg, NC. Time after time, year after year, I listened to your lies and worked them out in my mind. Every argument, you said it was me; I was the damaged goods. I am not the bad person, here. Not by any measurement. I will always be grateful to Dr. Kluge for helping me through that last bout with you.
I remember living in Wiesbaden and seeing pictures of you in a hotel with just a shirt on, thinking it was totally out of your character to take such pictures. Well, you lied to me and said you were there alone. I remember you sending a picture of you in our home in Wiesbaden with a flower in your mouth. You said you took it for me for Valentine's day. You lied, again. It wasn't for me.
Lie after lie after lie, I stayed there, built a home and a family for what I thought was 'us'. For what? You told James and David that you left because I would not leave the 'infidelity thing' alone. You should have told them your plan of leaving me in 2004. You thought I would be settled into Bent Brook and you could simply take your toothbrush and slither away without too much trouble. Boy, I must have really thrown a wrench into your plan when I told you it was my wifely duties to build a home for us in Wiesbaden.
I am the second Judy in your life, except I didn't take my life. I live to tell the story. When I calm down, I'm sending Taylor Swift the lyrics to her next song.
I don't wish you well and I am not happy for you. It totally sucks to be you. I am glad you are out of my life, for good.
Your confession, yesterday, confirmed so many suspicions. Although, it was terribly hurtful, it brings closure to all the times I cried and worried and stressed and punched out the bed pillows so as not to wake our children.
The lies started in 1977 at Ft. Bragg, NC. Time after time, year after year, I listened to your lies and worked them out in my mind. Every argument, you said it was me; I was the damaged goods. I am not the bad person, here. Not by any measurement. I will always be grateful to Dr. Kluge for helping me through that last bout with you.
I remember living in Wiesbaden and seeing pictures of you in a hotel with just a shirt on, thinking it was totally out of your character to take such pictures. Well, you lied to me and said you were there alone. I remember you sending a picture of you in our home in Wiesbaden with a flower in your mouth. You said you took it for me for Valentine's day. You lied, again. It wasn't for me.
Lie after lie after lie, I stayed there, built a home and a family for what I thought was 'us'. For what? You told James and David that you left because I would not leave the 'infidelity thing' alone. You should have told them your plan of leaving me in 2004. You thought I would be settled into Bent Brook and you could simply take your toothbrush and slither away without too much trouble. Boy, I must have really thrown a wrench into your plan when I told you it was my wifely duties to build a home for us in Wiesbaden.
I am the second Judy in your life, except I didn't take my life. I live to tell the story. When I calm down, I'm sending Taylor Swift the lyrics to her next song.
I don't wish you well and I am not happy for you. It totally sucks to be you. I am glad you are out of my life, for good.
Dec 17, 2010
Martha
It is too early to be awake. The sun light isn't creeping through the kitchen window, yet. The two children are still snug in their beds. The thermostat is still below 65 degrees. So, it is nippy in the house. Just the way she likes it; cold. The coffee smells good and she finishes her cup and pours another one. Coffee is her life saver some times. It is warm and soothing going down. Even holding the cup in both hands is soothing when she feels lonely.
The cards she plays solitaire with are warn. She needs another deck. But, there are groceries to buy instead of playing cards. Besides, if anything happens to her car or the house, where will that money come from. She cannot ask her Father for anything for a while. He just paid the plumber to fix the bathroom sink in her bedroom.
She just shuffles the warn deck of cards and deals another game of solitaire. She could play this game without looking. It passes the time for her in a way that television cannot fill for her. She must be quiet as not to disturb the children. She has been taught by the two previous husbands to be quiet in the mornings. When she can't sleep, instead of turning on the television, she plays solitaire. And, she plays solitaire, this morning, with her worn cards. Dealing seven stacks face down, one on top of the other, without even thinking about them.
What she does think about is how this Friday will turn out. The children have their last day of school before the Christmas holiday. They have to have something in their stomachs before they leave for the short walk to the Elementary School. And, they each need some lunch money. It is only $.53, each. But, it needs to be there every time they leave for school or they will not have anything for lunch.
It is easier to put the coins out for them than it is to make a lunch and have them complain about what is between the bread. She doesn't like to be judged on the sandwiches she prepares for them in their lunches. Usually, bologna with lettuce and some mustard on bread. That is the standby sandwich the gets packed into the lunch bag. The other problem is to decide what else to put into the bag to fill their stomachs at lunch time.
It is very difficult for her to make the lunches. She doesn't like to be judged on the contents of the lunch bag by the children. This becomes a daily struggle for her. She makes sure there is $.53 there for them to purchase a lunch, everyday, at school. It is less pressure for her.
She sips her second cup of coffee and deals another game of solitaire. And, she notices the sunlight coming through the kitchen window. It is time to wake the children for school.
The cards she plays solitaire with are warn. She needs another deck. But, there are groceries to buy instead of playing cards. Besides, if anything happens to her car or the house, where will that money come from. She cannot ask her Father for anything for a while. He just paid the plumber to fix the bathroom sink in her bedroom.
She just shuffles the warn deck of cards and deals another game of solitaire. She could play this game without looking. It passes the time for her in a way that television cannot fill for her. She must be quiet as not to disturb the children. She has been taught by the two previous husbands to be quiet in the mornings. When she can't sleep, instead of turning on the television, she plays solitaire. And, she plays solitaire, this morning, with her worn cards. Dealing seven stacks face down, one on top of the other, without even thinking about them.
What she does think about is how this Friday will turn out. The children have their last day of school before the Christmas holiday. They have to have something in their stomachs before they leave for the short walk to the Elementary School. And, they each need some lunch money. It is only $.53, each. But, it needs to be there every time they leave for school or they will not have anything for lunch.
It is easier to put the coins out for them than it is to make a lunch and have them complain about what is between the bread. She doesn't like to be judged on the sandwiches she prepares for them in their lunches. Usually, bologna with lettuce and some mustard on bread. That is the standby sandwich the gets packed into the lunch bag. The other problem is to decide what else to put into the bag to fill their stomachs at lunch time.
It is very difficult for her to make the lunches. She doesn't like to be judged on the contents of the lunch bag by the children. This becomes a daily struggle for her. She makes sure there is $.53 there for them to purchase a lunch, everyday, at school. It is less pressure for her.
She sips her second cup of coffee and deals another game of solitaire. And, she notices the sunlight coming through the kitchen window. It is time to wake the children for school.
Dec 16, 2010
Here is the deal.
And, it's no big deal.
Christmas is approaching. The tree isn't out of the storage. The gifts are purchased and remain unwrapped on the guest room bed. There are a few decorations around the house. And, everyone is busy working their jobs and making plans for the Holidays.
Since, James, Brittany, Sara and David came over for Thanksgiving, my expectation for a Christmas get together is slim. It will be hard to organize everyone's schedule into a time when our visits will overlap.
So, come visit when you can. We'll hug each other and laugh and eat.
I love my family and will always welcome them, home.
Merry Christmas!
And, it's no big deal.
Christmas is approaching. The tree isn't out of the storage. The gifts are purchased and remain unwrapped on the guest room bed. There are a few decorations around the house. And, everyone is busy working their jobs and making plans for the Holidays.
Since, James, Brittany, Sara and David came over for Thanksgiving, my expectation for a Christmas get together is slim. It will be hard to organize everyone's schedule into a time when our visits will overlap.
So, come visit when you can. We'll hug each other and laugh and eat.
I love my family and will always welcome them, home.
Merry Christmas!
Dec 13, 2010
Pumpkin
This morning, I left out in the cold car headed to the bank to deposit a check. It was really chilly out there. The bank was not open, yet. So, I dropped my deposit in the over night box. Checking to make sure the clunking sound was my deposit making its way to the bottom of the box.
Then, when I got back in my warm house, I started a pumpkin pancake with banana in it. Man, it was scrumptious. I put the pan on the stove, heated it and warmed some butter in the bottom. When the pan was hot, I added the pumpkin pancake mix. Then, sliced a banana into the batter. I even created a smiley face with the bananas. At my house, it is always fun playing with the food. Turning the seven-inch pancake was a slight problem, but it didn't change the taste of the food.
I am still working on the large pancake. I have a third of it left. So, I better get back to it.
Love ya, and
Merry Christmas.
Then, when I got back in my warm house, I started a pumpkin pancake with banana in it. Man, it was scrumptious. I put the pan on the stove, heated it and warmed some butter in the bottom. When the pan was hot, I added the pumpkin pancake mix. Then, sliced a banana into the batter. I even created a smiley face with the bananas. At my house, it is always fun playing with the food. Turning the seven-inch pancake was a slight problem, but it didn't change the taste of the food.
I am still working on the large pancake. I have a third of it left. So, I better get back to it.
Love ya, and
Merry Christmas.
Nov 30, 2010
Life Changes
Tomorrow, my life changes, again. I will be back at work on a steady schedule at H&R Block. It is a fun job because I get to help people with their taxes. The clients are varied and interesting who visit our office. I am finally getting to know the regulars after five years. I recognize faces and names but rarely put them together. Remembering all those details is not my strongest suit.
The cold weather is headed this way and my schedule will be get up, shower, dress, drive, work, drive, eat dinner, shower, sleep, repeat. I am not looking forward to the routine.
As the days shorten and it gets colder, I snuggle inside my little house and watch the boob-tube for entertainment. It is a good thing to have the television with infinite channels to surf from the comfort of the Lazy-Boy recliner.
I will keep you posted on the cold weather.
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